shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
