Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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