I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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