well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
