me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
