no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize