one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
