someone threw a dead crab at me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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