There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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