yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
