It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
