Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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