Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
