I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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