I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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