Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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