i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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