YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
