Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
