doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
