Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
