What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
