Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
