Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
