The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
