Your face is a jimmy john
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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