so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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