Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
