we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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