I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
