I hate your face
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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