So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
