the condom got lost in my hair
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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