He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
