is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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