No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
