He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
