oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
