If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
