This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
