Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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