How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize