Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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