Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
smell my finger.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
