remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
too bad you live with your parents still
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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