why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
