I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
