I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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