please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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