remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
