Sry I called you an 8
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
