last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
