her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
