In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize