While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
