And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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