the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
