oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
