I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
